9.

.

Today,
you can be grateful
that you are not waiting (at the train station) for the #5 California Zephyr.

And if you are, in fact, waiting (at the train station) for the #5 California Zephyr,
then you can be grateful that you did not, at least,
just eat a $2-pre-packaged chicken salad sandwich out of the station's vending machine.

And if you did, in fact, just eat
a $2-pre-packaged chicken salad sandwich out of the vending machine,
(while waiting at the train station for the #5 California Zephyr)
then you can be grateful for this-
A MIGHTY FOREWARNING:

You,
my friend,
are in for 24 hours of terrible indigestion.

Plan accordingly.

.